New Relationship Advice

If you are looking for new relationship advice, you must first understand the nature of a new relationship. The problem is, there is a beginning period of getting to know people that masks who people really are. A famous comedian calls this mask "your representative". This is the person that you pretend to be, and the person the person you are interested in pretends to be, in order to impress each other.
When you meet somebody new and you like them, you want them to like you too. And if you feel some sort of connection together, well that's when the games begin. You put on this fake persona that is way more funny, interesting, intelligent, caring (or whatever) than you really are. If you are a man and you are really physically attracted to a woman, you may try to be super intriguing or pretend to be ultra sensitive so you can achieve your goal of getting her in bed. If you are a woman and you are really attracted to a man that is filthy rich, you may pretend to be more interested in his life, work, kids, or lifestyle than you really are so you can achieve your ultimate goal of having him spend some of those riches on you. There are many different ways you could be acting like someone other than your normal self, just for the sake of establishing a new relationship.
But what happens when you "get the girl" or "get the guy" and really get caught up with one another? What happens a few years down the road when you grow tired of pretending this person is so great? You both stick together and end up miserable, or you break up. That's what happens. So save yourself some time and some stress. Don't waste time trying to be with a person for the wrong reasons because they are cute or rich when you could be establishing a new relationship of substance that will be lasting and that will make you happy the whole time.
When you get into a new relationship with the wrong person, you close the door of opportunity that should be open for the right person to come into your life. Take my advice. Ask yourself why you want to be involved with a new person. If the reasons are simple and shallow, keep the relationship simple and shallow and do not take it any further. If the reasons are meaningful and deep, the relationship will be meaningful with depth. And above all, make sure the person you are interested in knows where you are coming from and find out what they are looking for. If you are truthful with yourself and honest with the other person, you can avoid a lot of problems.
© 2009 Monte Jamison
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